What do you call an old snowman?

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Water!

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Knock Knock!

Who’s there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use—I’ve forgotten my name again!

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When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

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In the dictionary!

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What goes “oh, oh, oh”?

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Santa walking backwards!

The thing standing in front of Lod was at least three meters (about ten feet) tall. It seemed to be constructed of rather wide tubes curving about in multiple directions. If Lod had looked closer, he would have seen that it was all one long tube twisted around itself numerous times.

Whatever it was that was in front of Lod was somewhat yellow in color. The thing’s face, if you could call it that, was a large triangular structure on top of the twisted tube. On the face were two large triangular eyes, and it also had a slightly larger triangle for what appeared to be a mouth. It looked neither machine nor organic.

Lod didn’t really have much time to inspect it, for he suddenly found that it was almost impossible to breath, and his head had suddenly started feeling like it was about to explode. The thing across from him was making some sort of grinding noise.

Imagining anything giving off the amount of pain Lod was going through reminded Lod of a creature he had heard about. The creature (called the Ongifalkin) was about two meters long, and was something like a lion crossed with an alligator. It had been discovered by the Gangorians on some uninhabited planet, and had been almost instantly become a very popular gladiatorial beast. What it did to it’s victims was not known to be pleasant.

The moment Lod thought of the Ongifalkin, the pain suddenly stopped. It was instead replaced with a weird double-echo in his head.

“I am not a beast!” it seemed to say.

“Then why are you hurting me?” thought Lod.

“You are Earcor!” was the response. “You destroy cities! Ruin land! Try to find what must not be found!”

Mind reading in the universe was solely limited to aliens with enormous brain power. Most researchers of the phenomenon concluded that it was done by transmitting a kind of radio wave, or something like that. Lod had no doubt that this thing had mind reading powers. These mind reading powers could have come in handy for the aliens, for they would not have needed to learn someone’s language to understand it, since the perfect translator appeared to be standing in front of Lod.

“What must not be found?” thought Lod.

The response came back much sooner than before. “No one must obtain the eltardan!” cried the voice in his mind. Lod then assumed the thing was referring to the superhuman drug. He was right, for the thing answered in the affirmative.

“Yes! THAT! I, Vulvex. Vulvex to guard eltardan! Must guard eltardan!”

“But why do you try to hurt me?” asked Lod again.

The Vulvex immediately responded.“You Earcor!”

Lod then guessed he was referring to the Earth Corps. They had been digging all over the planet and disturbing the ruins, and Lod had no idea how much this Vulvex knew about what was going on.

“I am not Earth Corps!” he thought aggressively. “I am Earth Force! There is a great difference!”

“Then what,” asked the Vulvex,“are those?”

At just that moment, a squad of Earth Corps soldiers ran into the hall. From the direction they were coming from, Lod assumed they had climbed down the steps.

“Those,” he thought nervously, “ are Earth Corps!”

To be continued…

                                                                                                 Levi Karth

What is red, white, and blue?

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A Depressed Candy Cane!

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Which carol is about a mute Lancelot?

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Silent Knight!

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What’s white and goes up?

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A confused Snowflake!

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

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The Christmas one has no L (noel)!

What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?

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The letter D!

Why is it always cold at Christmas?

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Because it’s in Decemberrrr!

For several years now, my brother Peter has claimed that he is an alien. He is of course just being silly. However, my brother Levi says that he has had dreams where Peter was an alien. He says that this proves that Peter is an alien. Peter also predicted that Marcus would be a boy before he was born. Some people think that because he is supposedly an alien that he has access to better technology and this is why he was able to say that Marcus would be a boy. I have my doubts.

                                                                 S.R.K.

This being 2009, I am pleased to announce that the Karth Family Dot Com has been around for three years—technically. Sort of. Not really.

This site launched in November of 2007. Since both 2007 and 2008 are now over, and since we’re well into 2009 (when do you expect to be well in, October?), the Karth Family Dot Com has been around for three calendar years. I am now going to talk about the site.

We started as a lowly little site with a handful of daily readers and only a trickle of posts being submitted. It was hard to even figure out what to write about, and with our writing time divided between the Karth Family Dot Com and it’s sister site, Karth Family: Homeschooling, we were in a sore state. The payment system between Danelle and us “kids” was confusing. Most of us had little experience with writing, and thus our English wasn’t fully up to par, making it harder to write posts.

We are now (hopefully) in a much better state. After going through several lists of ideas of things to write about that Danelle suggested, we are now into just writing about anything we can think about. This has (mostly) given us very interesting posts.

Due to lack of posts, Karth Family: Homeschooling is currently dormant. Instead, we are going to talk about homeschooling on Karth Family Dot Com. This should provide more post writing opportunities, since anything related to homeschooling will go on this site.

At first, Danelle was paying us with a very complicated system. At some points we had to count the total amount of words per post, and eventually we switched to two dollars a post. During the summer, our post output dropped significantly, the website stopped making a lot of money, and Danelle had to stop paying us. We are now contributing posts for writing practice solely, and we are not motivated by financial gain.

For me (Levi) at least, my writing skills have improved greatly (I think). With my starting “The Adventures of Mr Lod” serial story, it has been much easier to write, and I have actually finished writing the story. The actual parts submitted however, has only reached about halfway. But, that hasn’t stopped me, and I am more than halfway through a parallel story that involve different characters. You’ll start seeing some of that some time after “Mr Lod” finishes, which may be any time between March and November.

So, all in all, we have had a lot of changes. With Danelle being pregnant (and busy in other ventures), I (Levi) have currently taken over website management. So far, it has actually been easier to get posts published on time, because I can just post them myself and I don’t have to worry about Danelle having to get it all ready. This has also taken a burden off Danelle.

Thus, although we’ve technically only been around for about fourteen months, we have posted 218 posts (counting this one). With there being 30 days in November and 31 in December, 2008 being a leap year, and it already almost being the third, that comes out to 1.9 something, which means we’ve written about…one post every two days. I think. If you want, you can do the math. The point is, we’ve written a bunch of stuff, and we’re hoping to output even more pretty soon (at least, I am).

                                                                                                        Levi Karth

When you’re trapped in a giant, ancient ruin of a building on a dead alien planet and you get separated from your companions, you would probably start to worry. If you were separated because incredibly loud echoes from Laser guns firing caused a wall to collapse, then you would get really worried. Since it was elite Earth Corps troops out there firing the Laser guns, Lod was really worried.

The first thing he did was get out of that room, seeing as the ceiling was still falling down on him. Once he was back in the main hall, he started looking for another way out. The place was huge, and it was difficult. He was about to give up, when he saw something.

In the middle of the hall, a large brick had fallen onto the floor. It must have been very heavy, for it had made a giant hole in the floor. Upon closer inspection, Lod found that that area of the floor must have been deliberately made weaker, or something of the kind, for underneath the hole was a staircase. Seeing that this might be what they had been looking for all along, Lod descended down the hole into a black abyss broken only by his hand light.

Being made by aliens a least a foot taller than humans, the steps were farther apart. They were also covered with many layers of dirt. Navigation down the stairs was hazardous, and Lod fell twice.

The stairs eventually led down to an even larger hall than the one above. This hall appeared to be even larger than the largest streets in the city. Also, there appeared to be things on the walls.

Brushing off some dirt on a an irregular shape, Lod found devices that could have been machines. They had a large array of buttons, each with a different symbol. If they had the dust removed and were placed in some ship, Lod would have mistaken them for some outdated computers.

Seeing no harm in it, Lod tried to use one. He repeatedly punched the buttons, but to no avail. The machine just wouldn’t do anything. Lod then decided to see if he had to turn the power on or something. Taking a piece of cloth that had torn from his shirt, Lod started wiping the dust off the whole thing rapidly. Within a minute, Lod had cleaned the whole thing. However, he could not find any display, but he did find what was probably the power supply.

After Lod flipped some sort of complicated switch diagonally, the machine started to vibrate and make some noise. Being encouraged but with no actual knowledge of what he was doing, Lod started typing in random combinations. Unexpectedly, the first key stroke triggered the lights in the place.

The sudden flash of the giant hallway being lit up by thousands (if not millions) of lights made Lod jump. He instinctively pulled out his Laser pistol and turned around. Doing so, he suddenly saw just how immense the place was. The ceiling was at least 70 meters high, and the hall seemed to go at least a mile in both directions. What was really surprising, however, was that part of the wall across the hall from him suddenly opened up, and something walked out.

To be continued…

                                                                                                       Levi Karth

Since it sounded like fun, we (the Karth kids) are going to be spending the night at Peter and Danelle’s apartment. We’ll play games, watch a movie or two, and maybe try to get some sleep. Plus, Danelle knows how to cook with yummy spice things, so our taste buds will enjoy themselves.

The next morning, they began digging. That is, Dr Stalich ordered most of the warriors on where to stick their shovels, while Nanlych and a few others took turns patrolling and making sure the Earth Corps didn’t sneak up on them. However, at about mid-day, Stalich decided that since there was so much open space, they ought to give up digging into buildings that were probably some alien’s equivalent of a shopping mall. Instead, he suggested, they should look for something that hinted at being a government or science building, since that was probably the most likely place to find the drug.

Both Patterson and Nanlych insisted that they wait until the next day then, for everyone was exhausted from digging. Stalich gave in, and the strike team and company began making plans for where to go and what to take. It was eventually settled that they would move their camp entirely, for there was no point in staying where the Earth Corps could easily catch them, seeing as they were relatively close to the tunnel leading back up to the surface.

Thus, the group spent the rest of the day marching vigorously through the ruins looking for a place that the enhancement-drug would have been kept. For hours, the weary warriors scrounged through ancient streets, hoping the ceiling didn’t fall on top of them. Their efforts, however, were rewarded, for by 2′200 hours they had found an important looking building that Stalich insisted must have been the Capital building. One of his main arguments was that it seemed to have an older style of architecture than the surrounding buildings, and that it was definitely larger than most of the others.

Since none of the others were archaeologists, they really didn’t have any ground on which to argue the point (metaphorically, not literally). So, they camped outside the building that night (if you could call it night) and all of them got some rest. They would need it.

It had been decided that packing up the camp again would be a waste of effort, for they wouldn’t need to camp in the Capital building. Therefore, a watch had to be placed in the camp to make sure the Earth Corps didn’t sneak up on them unexpectedly. As it was, they had gotten no resistance at all, which greatly concerned the senior officers.

Nanlych refused to leave Stalich’s side, so he didn’t end up being one of the guards at the camp. Instead, Fleming, Henderson, Schmidt, and Tyrik were chosen to guard the camp. Nanlych, Patterson, Lod, and Bowman would accompany Dr Stalich into the building.

When Stalich and the others went in the building, they first entered a courtyard of sorts. The only reason it was like that was because it had no roof and it didn’t look like it had had one. Further in, there were some hallways, with ceilings at such heights that hinted at not being meant to be much higher than the people’s heads, except that it was at least three meters high. This strengthened the idea that these aliens had been quite tall.

The building’s architecture seemed to be centered around tubes or, rather, cylinder-like objects. It didn’t matter whether they were twisted, standing upright, or horizontal. The cylinders just seemed to leap out as the dominant (and only) central idea of the building.

They had just gotten into a much larger hall, when a large explosion was suddenly heard. The whole city being the way it was, the sound echoed incredibly. It was almost impossible to hear anything until the echo died down. Being very impatient, Patterson almost immediately activated her com unit and attempted to contact the part of the strike team guarding the camp. She got no response.

Getting very concerned, Patterson had everyone turn around. She wasn’t about to leave half her team in danger. As they were running into a main hall, the ceiling started to collapse. Lod ended up in the back, and got even further behind when a tile from the ceiling dropped right in front of him and caused him to trip.

The others didn’t notice, and he managed to get up quickly anyway. He was even further behind them, however. He started to catch up but, just as he was about to go through a doorway the others had gone through, it collapsed—leaving him trapped on the other side.

To be continued…

                                                                                                         Levi Karth

All the people in the house, excluding me (Levi), are sick. This may mean a slight post reduction in terms of production. However, there should still be at least one post a day, so don’t quit checking this website.